Thursday, January 29, 2009

Open letter to my parents, by Anouk (First cat)

Dear parents,

About three weeks ago you came home with something. It took me a while but I came to know this thing as a miniature cat. One you call "Penny".

Now, I know I have gained a few (it's winter, ya know? We kitties need our extra layers when it's so freakin' cold outside!) and I might not be as young and fresh faced as I used to be but to BRING HOME ANOTHER CAT?

First I thought you will simply replace me. Take me to where ever you found this bundle of fleas and sneezes. But it's been three weeks and I am still here (and so is the other one unfortunately) so I guess I am not going anywhere. Or am I? I just know I would feel a whole lot better once you put my cat carrier back in the closet! Don't you see me sniffing it and looking at you suspiciously? That means "PUT AWAY THE DAMN CARRIER!".

Anyway, I have you know I am not standing for any of this. I am strictly a one cat/one family person and that's how I'll have it. I was brought up cat-olic after all.

You might say that back when we lived with your friend Mike and his cat Willow we also lived with another cat. Well, I tell ya - that was DIFFERENT! Willow was strictly Mike's cat. You always made me feel like I was YOUR cat and Willow was HIS cat. Also I never liked that Mike-dude. Remember when I peed into his Prada shoes? Fun times.

So I beg you - please remove this boney, little fur ball from our premises so we can be a normal family again.

Or be prepared for a cold war as last seen between America and Russia during Jimmy Carter's regency.

Thank you and with all my love (if you do as I wish, otherwise, no love)

Your FIRST kitten


The Austrian said...

Dear Anouk,

I put away the cat carrier.

But Penny is here to stay.


Mommie Austrian

Anonymous said...

Dear senior resident,
I know you were here first, but time moves on and it is time for a new regime. Your good days are way past you and it is time to step aside and let a younger generation take over. No hard feelings.